‘Van der Valk’ Season 2 Episode 2 Recap: La donna è mobile

Ok so: last week we got our gang back together to solve a super creepy serial killer case, all while watching our pal Euro Cash make leaps and bounds in his personal growth. This week seems to be off to a decidedly more sparkly start, with a mysterious person examining a honkin’ big diamond. And lest you think this is some kind of romantic situation, in the background, we pan out to reveal… a very dead body. Yikes!

Meanwhile, our favorite goth besties “enjoy” a night on the town (at least as much as Euro Cash appears to enjoy anything).

Euro Cash: Check it out: I got Sniffer some wildly fancy dog treats!
Hassell: Yeah, whatever man: I have dirt. Big Cheese knows that Clooves lies about taking care of his mum! Doesn’t that bug you?
Euro Cash: I’m trying to be less bothered in general. What, are you annoyed?
Hassell: YEAH BUDDY. In that vein: check out this interaction at the bar! Why do men keep flirting when they don’t stand a chance?
Euro Cash: No clue. I never flirt with anyone, beautiful women just appear on my boat. My guess is that a lot of guys don’t like to admit defeat.
Hassell: Well that lady isn’t going home with those dudes, but I might be in luck here.

While she gets her flirt on, elsewhere in the city, a man with absolutely unhinged-big glasses mixes together blood and what looks like ashes, then pours the paste into a heart shaped cutout in a diamond. Truly bizarre; can’t wait to find out wtf is going on here.

Back at the bar, Euro Cash is about to absent himself so Hassell can capitalize on her flirting when he’s backed into a corner by Lena. Folks, he doesn’t play it even a little bit cool, and stammers over the introduction.

Hassell: LMAO, my guy, disaster. Nice to meet you, Lena, this will be fun.
Euro Cash: Well, I’ll just get my dog treats and we can go! BYE!

Amazing. Also amazing?…